- If God created the earth in seven days, what was S(He) doing before then?
- *My wife thinks I say too much. Probably.
- *Silence is a vote for that which you are being silent about.
- Some people’s approaches to family relationships are so simple that is is like having vanilla ice cream ale mode.
- I read somewhere that the female controls the social life of a couple so I let my wife lead here.
- *Without any behavior, nothing happens.
- I’m too busy to be manic.
- Some of the most likeable people are also scoundrels. Perhaps that is how they get that way.
- Most men feel best about old clothes. We love our oldest hat and jeans that have real holes in them. Yet women expect us to feel good about going to a clothing store to buy new duds? Don’t they understand men’s feelings?
- *Here is a paradox about jeans with holes in them. Women love to buy jeans with holes artificially put in them but can't understand how men like the same thing done through wear. Perhaps it has nothing to do with the hole and just has to do with spending money?
- A survey was taken regarding the family life of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It showed that six out of seven dwarfs were not Happy.
- Just because you are not thinking doesn’t mean that I have to stop thinking.
- Wishing or wanting for things makes for great lists, but for something to happen about the wish/want, action is required.
- Getting individuals to stop overvaluing feelings is like getting the NRA to stop thinking about guns.
- Feelings are like the icing on a cake. They make the cake attractive and taste good, but they are not the cake.
Values are the ‘shoulds’ of life but to be “should on” is no fun. - Many times feelings trump values which in turn trump logic. That is one reason we humans spend so little time thinking.
- Awareness of feelings is simply awareness of feelings. Expressing feelings is simply expressing feelings. Having change occur as an aftereffect of feelings requires action.
- The expression of a feeling is normal, natural and healthy. The storing up of feelings at any time is unhealthy and is to be avoided. The kids get it right when in their interaction a mistake is made and feelings follow. They say “my bad” and move on.
- *Most people want their feelings to be positive before they venture forward in a change. Except that it doesn’t work that way. Change occurs and if it is good change, good feelings follow.
- *A good old fashioned cry is still the best way to wash away mild bad feelings.
- *A life’s journey that is primarily based on emotions will be full of ups and downs. If you want to live a more level life, chose another vehicle in which to travel.
- ·*It is hard to know who originated the saying “It is a football team with a university connected to it” because there are so many of them.
- The more intense the passion for a cause, the smaller the information supporting it is.
- Why do children, who are supposedly less mature, forgive much more quickly and easily than their parents?
- Family matters have a way of finding their own wayss to resolution even though it is never on our timetable.
- In today’s world our grandchildren have so many presents, many from us, that it is very difficult to teach “it is better to give than to receive.”
- Isn’t it refreshing to see a young child receive a lot of expensive presents and then chose to play with cardboard box.
- Have you ever heard of a hand-me-down (which young kids really like) cardboard box?
*Today’s over-involved parents of Adult Children are called ‘helicopter parents. Guess they don’t know about the crash and fatality rate of helicopters? - If God didn’t invent double chocolate Moose Tracks, who do you think did?
- If there really is a Heaven and a Hell, where does the devil go on holiday?
* * * *
I’m Curious
- When Mother Nature has it rain on one side of the street but not the other, is S(He) using Google or Apple maps?
- When two teenagers ask each other “What’s you doing?” and the answer is “Nuttin” (nothing), what is going on? How can one do ‘nothing?”
- Which did come first, the chicken or the egg?
- Why are conservatives and liberals always angry with each other when being conservative means wanting to take care of something and being liberal means having strong interest in caring for something?
- Why does “first” come before “second?”
* * * *
Takes on Human Communication
*The test of whether you are a thinker or not is whether you go to the ocean by yourself and preach or listen.
*The statement “I don’t know” almost never means that one doesn’t know. It usually means that “I don’t want to tell you.”
·There are two types of real “I don’t know”. One is actually saying that “I know almost nothing at all about ____.” The other is saying “I do not know what I want to know about “A” and “B.”
·When the word “but” is put into a sentence, that word tells the listener to erase everything that was said before the “but” and pay attention only to what follows, e.g., “I do want to see you ‘but’ I am very busy today.”
·If you hear someone “butting” you all the time in a pattern, be aware that they have an agenda regarding you or the topic under discussion.
·If you find yourself ‘butting” someone or some topic all the time in a pattern, you are right in that it feels just like “butting your head against a wall.”
·If you want to speak without using “but”, check out this approach. Say, “I hear you suggest ______. As an alternative I suggest ______.” Then debate.
·Parallel monologues are often what people offer each other when they are in the same place as another but not with another.
·Much of human communication is a monologue delivered to anyone who will listen. A real dialogue allows many to express and has the chance of leading to more discovery.
·When my monologue is long, those who are listening are often confused, get lost, or get left behind.
·When I have too much information or too many choices, I often get confused.
·When one wants to encourage another to learn what ”I know that you don’t know,” encourage them to engage in deep thought on a topic you suggest. Deep thought is a positive activity that doesn’t blame and results in both a thinking process and outputs/outcomes that are positive.
·The message sent is often not the message that is heard. This is why a good messenger will repeat basic messages over and over.
·Hunan communication has been greatly enhanced by electronic technologies but human relationships have suffered as a result of the misuse of these technologies. The older generation loves emailing and texting for its ease. One can communicate via either when one wants to but it is usually still one-way communication. The kids use texting right when they use texting in a back and forth style.
·Even the younger generation misuses texting when one sees two young people sitting at the same table texting back and forth to each other.
·Often when people offer a half-truth on a topic, they are either lazy or they have an agenda and don’t want you to know the whole truth.
·Hunan communication has been greatly enhanced by electronic technologies but human relationships have suffered as a result of the misuse of these technologies. The older generation loves emailing and texting for its ease. One can communicate via either when one wants to but it is usually still one-way communication. The kids use texting right when they use texting in a back and forth style.
*The test of whether you are a thinker or not is whether you go to the ocean by yourself and preach or listen.
*The statement “I don’t know” almost never means that one doesn’t know. It usually means that “I don’t want to tell you.”
·There are two types of real “I don’t know”. One is actually saying that “I know almost nothing at all about ____.” The other is saying “I do not know what I want to know about “A” and “B.”
·When the word “but” is put into a sentence, that word tells the listener to erase everything that was said before the “but” and pay attention only to what follows, e.g., “I do want to see you ‘but’ I am very busy today.”
·If you hear someone “butting” you all the time in a pattern, be aware that they have an agenda regarding you or the topic under discussion.
·If you find yourself ‘butting” someone or some topic all the time in a pattern, you are right in that it feels just like “butting your head against a wall.”
·If you want to speak without using “but”, check out this approach. Say, “I hear you suggest ______. As an alternative I suggest ______.” Then debate.
·Parallel monologues are often what people offer each other when they are in the same place as another but not with another.
·Much of human communication is a monologue delivered to anyone who will listen. A real dialogue allows many to express and has the chance of leading to more discovery.
·When my monologue is long, those who are listening are often confused, get lost, or get left behind.
·When I have too much information or too many choices, I often get confused.
·When one wants to encourage another to learn what ”I know that you don’t know,” encourage them to engage in deep thought on a topic you suggest. Deep thought is a positive activity that doesn’t blame and results in both a thinking process and outputs/outcomes that are positive.
·The message sent is often not the message that is heard. This is why a good messenger will repeat basic messages over and over.
·Hunan communication has been greatly enhanced by electronic technologies but human relationships have suffered as a result of the misuse of these technologies. The older generation loves emailing and texting for its ease. One can communicate via either when one wants to but it is usually still one-way communication. The kids use texting right when they use texting in a back and forth style.
·Even the younger generation misuses texting when one sees two young people sitting at the same table texting back and forth to each other.
·Often when people offer a half-truth on a topic, they are either lazy or they have an agenda and don’t want you to know the whole truth.
·Hunan communication has been greatly enhanced by electronic technologies but human relationships have suffered as a result of the misuse of these technologies. The older generation loves emailing and texting for its ease. One can communicate via either when one wants to but it is usually still one-way communication. The kids use texting right when they use texting in a back and forth style.
* * * *
Takes on Values
*Isn’t it interesting how people of different ages can enjoy the same things such as food, music, a sporting event in so many different ways but they don’t tolerate the way different people enjoy what they enjoy?
*When someone is unique or different, it is often said that s(he) has a character flaw but those individuals who are the most fun to be have character flaws.
*When in a meeting and there are people who haven’t spoken to me at all, including ‘hello’, I find it hard to say goodbye to them.
*Loving everyone doesn’t necessary work with people who are used to getting their own way. People who are used to getting their own way frequently see a person who is calm, loving and giving as being soft and thus a great target of a person with whom to work their way.
*I’m getting old enough all by myself. I don’t need other people to help me.
*Values are foundation blocks to buildings as they are to relationships.
*Remember the old biblical story about a house built on sand without a good foundation and how it will collapse, even the good looking ones.
*To have a good house it must be built with good quality materials and by good quality workmanship. In the human house, good quality workmanship is assertive communication, poor quality workmanship is passive-aggressive communication. Good quality materials are relationships; bad quality materials are related to materialism.
*You change values by focusing on the new ones that you want to add. In doing so, those get stimulated and give out rewards which displace the old values. You avoid resentment feelings and learn how to turn the volume up of the new ones which eventually becomes loud enough to drown out the old value’s noise.
*Some people are vegetarians so why would you go to their house and expect chicken? (Contributed by Hobs).
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Takes on Values
*Isn’t it interesting how people of different ages can enjoy the same things such as food, music, a sporting event in so many different ways but they don’t tolerate the way different people enjoy what they enjoy?
*When someone is unique or different, it is often said that s(he) has a character flaw but those individuals who are the most fun to be have character flaws.
*When in a meeting and there are people who haven’t spoken to me at all, including ‘hello’, I find it hard to say goodbye to them.
*Loving everyone doesn’t necessary work with people who are used to getting their own way. People who are used to getting their own way frequently see a person who is calm, loving and giving as being soft and thus a great target of a person with whom to work their way.
*I’m getting old enough all by myself. I don’t need other people to help me.
*Values are foundation blocks to buildings as they are to relationships.
*Remember the old biblical story about a house built on sand without a good foundation and how it will collapse, even the good looking ones.
*To have a good house it must be built with good quality materials and by good quality workmanship. In the human house, good quality workmanship is assertive communication, poor quality workmanship is passive-aggressive communication. Good quality materials are relationships; bad quality materials are related to materialism.
*You change values by focusing on the new ones that you want to add. In doing so, those get stimulated and give out rewards which displace the old values. You avoid resentment feelings and learn how to turn the volume up of the new ones which eventually becomes loud enough to drown out the old value’s noise.
*Some people are vegetarians so why would you go to their house and expect chicken? (Contributed by Hobs).
·
* * * *
Takes on Human Behavior
*Even Bach hummed more than one tune.
*Unless you have behaviorally stated goals, how will you know you are getting anywhere?
*See it, feel it, taste it= measure it.
*Remember, the devil often turns out to be not whom you think s(he) is.
*I know a 19 year old male who has already committee serious crimes against women and fathered three illegitimate children. His counselor said: “But I liked him”. Evidently so did everyone else, especially the other women.
*If I am doing all this because I am manic, please let me remain right where I am.
*I hear of people dying because of boredom with life but not because of the lack of sleep obtained while enjoying life..
Takes on Human Behavior
*Even Bach hummed more than one tune.
*Unless you have behaviorally stated goals, how will you know you are getting anywhere?
*See it, feel it, taste it= measure it.
*Remember, the devil often turns out to be not whom you think s(he) is.
*I know a 19 year old male who has already committee serious crimes against women and fathered three illegitimate children. His counselor said: “But I liked him”. Evidently so did everyone else, especially the other women.
*If I am doing all this because I am manic, please let me remain right where I am.
*I hear of people dying because of boredom with life but not because of the lack of sleep obtained while enjoying life..
* * * *
Takes on Feelings and Values·
A survey was taken regarding family life of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It showed that six out of seven dwarfs were unhappy. (I sure hope if you don’t get this one right away that you will think thoroughly about the play on words as you then will laugh quite hard) DD.
*If thinking hard about the above and still don’t get it, as I didn’t, keep reading each of these until you do: A survey was taken and six out of seven dwarfs were ungrumpy. A survey was taken and six out of seven dwarfs were unsleepy. A survey was taken and six out of seven dwarfs were undopey. Etc……….
* We Americans continue to collect emotional trading stamps, called ”brown stamp collecting” when shopping in our emotional market. When our book is full, we may turn them in for a guilt free (perhaps) temper tantrum, drinking spree, and so on. It is healthier to refuse the stamps when offered and to express emotions “in the now” and move on.
*The dramas experienced by humans are better than any of those on day-time television.
*I wonder if those persons who devour television sitcoms, have too much or too little drama in their own lives.
*If you value “why” a lot but do not value “what” very much, “who” ”when” and “where” seldom come into play.
*What is this world coming to? Depression and Guilt are no longer the result of emotional factors. Depression is the result of mistaken or erroneous thoughts one has and guilt really is a judgment or value conflict you do to yourself.
*Most people want their feelings to be positive before they venture forward in a change. Except that it doesn’t work that way. Change occurs and if it is good change, good feelings follow.
*Most men feel best about old clothes. We love our oldest hat and jeans that have real holes in them. Yet women expect us to feel good about going to a clothing store to buy new duds? Don’t they understand men’s feelings? ·
*Here is a paradox about jeans with holes in them. Women love to buy jeans with holes artificially put in them but can't understand how men like the same thing done through wear. Perhaps it has nothing to do with the hole and just has to do with spending money?
*Those women that do understand men’s feelings do the following. Get your man into the clothing store however you can. Once your man sees himself in a mirror, his self-admiration will take over and he will actually fight his wife/partner for whose credit card will be used.
*Those women that do understand men’s feelings know that the above approach doesn’t always work because what a man sees in a mirror is not what a woman sees in person. So the next strategy is buy the clothes herself, put them in his drawer and he may never miss his old duds. If he does miss them and complains, go back to strategy #1 and take him shopping with you as he is more of a shopper than you give him credit for.
*In desperation, after everything else has failed, the woman should send her husband/partner out of the house in the nude (he will love the first part) with a $100.00 bill and tell him not to come home until he goes and picks up the clothes you have for him on layaway. He will love the excitement of this all and odds have it that he will come home with the clothes. He may be escorted by an officer in blue who will not believe your story but will release him to you telling you “not to let this happen again.” I can tell you that make-up sex that evening will be joyful as your husband/partner marvels at your creativity.
* * * *
Takes on Family Relationships
- As far as family go, I would rather have a family member with whom I fight than one who never talks to me. At least with a ‘fighting family member’ there is contact and with contact, who knows what will happen?
- Some family members actually like each other but don’t know how to show it other than by fighting.
- Some family member are like a babbling brook that goes happily and merrily along its way, wandering every which way. Whether it will ever get to its destination is unknown.
- A Quick Fable. There once were adult children who did not have the time to spend with their parents who then did have the time to spend with their adult children. This went on for some time. Then their parent’s ran out of time as they died. Then the adult children wanted time with their parents.
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*Jesus was a good role model of what he preached. Parents can follow Jesus’ model by modeling good parenting practices.
*Parents of Adult Children (AC) have to give up much when their AC takes on a spouse or a partner. One thing that may change is that the parent is no longer the emotional anchor for that AC. If that AC is now getting the anchoring from his/her spouse/partner, that may or may not be good depending on what the spouse/partner’s anchoring is based.
*Emotional anchoring that is based in a “glass is half full or better” philosophy is generally good anchoring.
*Emotional anchoring that takes a look at the strengths of another person/situation and builds on them is far better than the opposite.
*Emotional anchoring that provides lots of positive responses is far better than the opposite.
*When the whole family gets together, there are apt to be three or four generations there at one time. Each generation is separated by approximately twenty-two (22) years of life and thus there are many differences. The secret to getting along is to find things that all have in common.
*How did it come about that our Adult Children now value their offspring having more toys than having time spent and an active relationship with their grandparents?
*Isn’t it refreshing to see a young child receive a lot of expensive presents and then chose to play with cardboard box.
*Have you ever heard of a hand-me-down (which young kids really like) cardboard box?
*Today’s over-involved parents of Adult Children are called ‘helicopter parents. Guess they don’t know about the crash and fatality rate of helicopters?
*One of the worst case of helicopter parenting that I ever knew about was the college sophomore male whose mother called him up every morning to wake him in time for his first morning class.
*Perhaps one of the reasons our Adult Children don’t come home anymore because if they did, they would have to talk about us and our lives.
*Remember, your Adult Children tend to identify most closely with those that they are most alike-their family siblings. Thus an issue between you and one Adult Child is apt to become an issue with all your Adult Children.
*The converse is often true. If you can get one Adult Child to side with you on an issue, or even better, to take no sides, than it is more likely that other’s will follow their siblings lead.
*Many of your Adult Children appreciate what you do for them for about twenty-four hours.
*Like very young children, some grandparents are supposed to be seen, give gifts but not be heard.
*The old adage that “an apple usually fall far from a tree” doesn’t fit anymore as apples that fall from trees now days typically get crated up and transported far away, with all the connotations implied.
*In today’s world it is relatively easier to replace or get substitute grandchildren than it is to replace or get substitute grandparents.
*When is the last time you asked an Adult Child to honor you, the parent of an 18-40 year old AC?
*If a son is mad at his dad for a long time and during that time his dad dies, does not his son take his dad’s place on the succession list of targets for bad feelings?
*A mother is blood kin to her son while a wife is not. When then does a son become so close to his wife that he forsakes his mother? It must be the sex thing? Doesn’t the son realize how he got conceived in the first place?
*Parents who allow their young children to sleep in their marital bed may have this happen to then. I once was invited it to help a family situation where the six year old daughter proclaimed and demanded that only she was going to sleep every night with her mother. She then kicked the dad out of the marital bed and he left! The mother just shrugged her shoulders. Where in the world do you begin with this one?
*The generation that most often says: “if I could do it all over again, I would do ‘X’” are the parents of 18-40 year olds but they have the least time to do it over again.
*Conversely, the 18-40 year old double generation, the ones with the most time to learn from their elders mistakes, don’t even want to acknowledge that their parents made mistakes. They just want to experience it all themselves.
EDITING GOING ON BELOW
* * * *
Takes on Judging, Evaluating, Describing and Feeling·
One may value forgiveness but be so angry that one continues to hate for many moons.
·
*There is a difference between judging and evaluating or describing and evaluating. Humankind would be better off if we all knew these differences.
*Forgiveness is only needed after judging. If we would stop judging, forgiveness will not be needed. For those Christian and Hebrew readers, I remind you that both God and Jesus stated clearly, simply and firmly, “Don’t Judge.”
*Some people say the Lord’s Prayer with the phrase, “Forgive us our sins.” I prefer the phrase: “Forgive us our trespasses.”
*I believe in human mistakes and thus the need for human justice but do not believe in sin. God values everyone unconditionally.
*Social justice is so important. When someone tells me “your ancestors hurt mine, therefore you owe me,” that attitude sets social justice backwards greatly. Social justice is about forgiveness and change/action so that the past will not be repeated and the present and future will be healthy places for all.
*No matter how you look at it, nit pickers are minor leaguers!
*For Christians, Jesus came to earth to teach us how to become one with God, relate to each other and to seek social justice for all. Two of his main messages were “to not judge” and “to forgive” in that order. If you want to quickly help humankind experience social justice for all, just do the former and the latter will not be needed.
*All evaluating rests on norms and values. We evaluate almost every moment of our life. Christian humankind would be better off if they grounded their evaluation in New Testament norms and values rather than human norms and values.
*Power is the ability to get someone to do what they ordinary wouldn’t do or are not ready for. Power has no place in intimate human relationships. (Contributed by Hobs revised from a quote by C. Wright Mills).
* * * *
Takes on Intimate Relationships and Sexual Relations
· I have been always told that sex gets better with age but have never really understood that until now.
· I remember sex fondly.
· Sex is the single most important variable in a marriage but is only one of 3394 so don’t over play it.
· Good sexual therapists focus mostly on the relationship of their clients and on having a loving relationship. Work on sexual techniques is a secondary process.
· Women tend to be more emotional than men in their sexual relationships. This can be good or bad. It is good when it helps the male to join his female partner on her emotional level rather than focusing on techniques as men tend to do. It is bad when either’s emotions result in a withdrawal from sexual relationships because one or both partners hang on to bad feelings from previous encounters.
· Most people think that intimate relationships always involve sex, but that is hardly the case. A good second base-shortstop combination often experiences an intimate moment when they together turn a double play. Can you imagine the ecstasy felt in a foursome when a triple play is carried out by a third baseman, a short-stop, the second baseman and the first baseman?
· Sex has become a recreational support in America rather than a part of a loving relationship. Most young sexual partners are either in “lust” or “like” but not in love.
· Few young women who have sex outside of marriage really enjoy the experience. They are often too busy trying to please their male partner. The male most likely enjoys the ending experience, but is too busy “scoring” to enjoy the whole process or to give much to the relationship.
· The best sex occurs when both partners both ask for what they want, and both give their partner what the other wants.
· Nothing that happens in a sexual relationship is unhealthy if it occurs between consenting adults. However, nothing that happens in a sexual relationship is healthy if one of the partners objects
· The sexual practices of heterosexuals and homosexuals are more similar than different. Check it out.
· The majority of people who engage in homosexual relationships also engage in heterosexual relationships.
· In the fantastic early Greek societies, most of the best known and loved philosophers were as interested in members of the same sex as they were the opposite sex and that was fine with all. All loved it.
· In earlier civilizations the sexual body images for women were to be rotund, full-bodied and to weigh over 200 pounds. Then the ‘Twiggy’ stereotype perpetuated by the media came along and spoiled it for all.
· It was not until the 1930’s that the terms “heterosexuality” and ‘homosexuality’ began to be used in this country. (http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Invention-of-Homosexuality-and-Heterosexuality-Jenell-Paris-Veritas-Riff-10-03-2011.html)
· Most of the negativity about homosexuality comes from religious sources. The American “church” has only used these labels in its dogma for the past one hundred years.
· Homosexuality is not listed as a deviancy in any of the World Wide Diagnostic manuals.
· Professionally based literature of the past twenty years list far more sexual issues and problems between heterosexuals than it does between homosexuals.
· The one agreed upon difference between a heterosexual couple and a homosexual couple is that the latter can not create their own children. Both types of couples can become pregnant and give birth to a baby if a female is involved, and regardless of the gender pairings, can successfully raise a child to adulthood. It all is complicated and a matter of semantics. Religious beliefs do not come into play in this scientific defining process.
- I have had as much fun doing homo-sexual things such as holding hands with my teammates in a league championship football game, slapping my fellow basketball players on the rear after a great shot and pissing my name in the snow as I have had fun doing hetro-sexual things such as holding hands with a girl that I just met, brushing snow off my new girlfriend’s winter jacket or having a verbal male pissing match with a roommate.
- Sex can be the great equalizer in a relationship. Regardless of whether you are up or down, it all can be great fun.
- The most unusual situation I ever faced as a counselor was to work with a mis-guided and mentally ill young man who was having sex with his pet goat. Can you imagine what I thought on the introduction to this young man when I went to his house and was met at the gate by his pet goat?
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Takes on Friendship·
The tendency for us all when things are not going well is to focus on the problem and not the solution.
· Being a friendly is not the same thing as being a good friend.
· Very good friends are those whom you don’t see or have much if any contact with and then walk in your door as if they had never been away.
· Those vacation friends that never say goodbye before leaving were never real friends to begin with.
· Those persons who never take the time to say goodbye after a summer vacation together probably never had the time to be good friends anyways.
* * * *
Takes on Change· T
The hardest part of change is making the decision to actually change. What comes next is easier but is not easy. Still, the hardest part is over.
· Change most likely has to occur before good feelings arrive, not the only way around.
· It is nice to know “why something is the way that it is” but not a necessity for change as many people believe.
· The important questions to answer as one plans change are “what do you want?”, “how will you go about getting it?” “where?” “when?” and “who will be Involved?” Notice which three letter question is not there?
· A real understanding of “why something is the way that it is” is not possible until way after the change occurs, not before.
· Each year I plant a lot of seeds and baby plants as I love to garden. Each year not all seeds sprout nor all baby plants make it. I scratch my head in puzzlement as I plant more seeds and buy more baby plants, with some change (a play on words) so that I improve the odds of them making it. It is only in the dead of winter when I am sitting looking at the seed catalogs, do I figure out what probably went wrong.
Takes on Human Conflict· I have learned to enjoy and appreciate non-blaming human conflict. Such conflict frequently means that a dialogue is happening, and if one starts listening, reflecting, summarizing, and looking for commonalities and new joint paths to travel, creativity can occur.
· When one does nothing in terms of a conflict that happens in front of you, around you or to you, that is a vote in favor of the conflict or disagreement. The pro’s say when this occurs, one is “enabling.”
· Opinions wanting to be expressed are often feelings wanting to be expressed. When that happens and I have already heard the feelings many times and acknowledged them, I often state that I only want beliefs and experiences, both stated with the pronoun “I” leading the way.
· When it is up to you to take the lead or to speak “your call,” you do not have to raise the interaction occurring to a level of conflict even though others are calling for that.[1]
· I am not a big fan of apologizing, neither giving nor receiving one. That process is “old school” and good etiquette but not helpful at all in solving problems or improving relationships. An apology does not fix anything nor set a path to fix what went wrong. It is mostly an etiquette courtesy call.
· Have you ever experienced a person who apologizes for everything?
· When Jesus upset the tables of the tax collectors in the Temple, I wonder if his temper got the worst of him or if he knew exactly what he was doing?
· Firemen who put out the real fires in life, have this saying, “It is better to be pissed off than pissed on.”
· In a family dispute, it is not unusual for one of the sides to try and hold the other side hostage with one of their demands. It, however, is the enabler, the side line player, who often ends up taking the hit.
· Enablers enable others to be disabled.
- Enabling is a non-rare art form. It is found in most dysfunctional family situations but never sells for much because the completing artists get angry at the enabler.
- I guess enabling does have a purpose in a dysfunctional family. It keeps a drama going so that everyone can be entertained.
- Enabling is a non-rare art form. It is found in most dysfunctional family situations but never accomplishes much because the competing parties eventually get angry at the enabler.
- I would rather be in conflict with a family member than to be a cohort with an enabler. It is the enabler who has the power to influence things to move along but doesn’t know how to use that power. How sad for all, but especially the enabler.
- I guess enabling does have a purpose in a dysfunctional family. It keeps a drama going so that everyone can be entertained.
· Those assertive family members prefer to not pay games in their family and do everything that they can to be straight forward, true and trustworthy. However, if others choose and insist that games be played, they always play to win.
· When people who are well off screw up, they often will sue others for what they did.
· If we had more judges, would that mean that some lawyers couldn’t get away with what they do which is why we have less judges.
· It seems to be true that one lawyer is typically supporting three other lawyers by the way s(he) brings them into a situation that is made complicated by the number of lawyers involved.
· Financial planner need to plan better because they are always bringing in other experts to advise them on what you thought that they already knew,
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Takes on Human Logic or the Lack of Human Logic·
Why oh why is “why” such an important question? I don’t use it at all and instead use “what” and “how”, followed by “where” and “when” as my useful questions for doing
· Remember, Einstein said that if one finds that your facts don’t fit your theory, get another theory.
· Another Einstein quote says, “Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.”
· The other day a friend told me that a quote from Einstein that is very famous e.g. ‘doing the same thing over and over again and yet expecting different results’ actually didn’t come from Einstein. Period. Nothing more, nothing to compare it with or contrast. What am I supposed to do with that information?
· When one wants to encourage another to learn what “I know that you don’t know’, encourage them to engage in deep thought on a topic you suggest. Deep thought is a positive activity that doesn’t blame and results in both a thinking process and outputs/outcomes that are positive.
· Often when people offer a half-truth on a topic, they are either lazy or they have an agenda and don’t want you to know the whole truth.
· Why is it that when one “Googles” the word ”independence’ and starts to read the articles that come up, soon in those articles the focus in on “interdependence.”
· I’m going to die anyways, I might as well do nothing until that occurs.
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Takes on Economic Issues and Practices·
It is a shame that organizations that use volunteers have to spend so much of their monetary resources on liability insurance.
· Auto insurance could be much less expensive if only we as a society would focus on replacing or restoring one’s damaged property to its original state and on paying for needed medical care, instead of on making a profit on accidents. We know how to do this, but no one is listening.
· Contrast President John Kennedy’s mantra of “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your county” with President Ronald Reagan’s mantra of “Are you better off today than you were four years ago?” Which one is in play today and what does that tell you why we have the mess that we do have today?
· Taxes are a word that politicians have absolutely used to represent everything bad in America and something to be avoided at all costs. Before the politicians started that, the word “taxes” meant a fee or income used to pay for what we wanted or the income for our expenses. I don’t exactly know when it changed, but it seems like no one wants to pay for what it wants government to do these days.
· If the Tea Party gets everything reduced or eliminated that it wants, what good will be left?
· Isn’t it un-American to avoid responsibility for paying our debts?
- How widely known is it that the United States military budget is bigger than ALL the other military budgets in the world totaled together. And yet, guess who wants it to grow even more?
- What a shock it is to finally become eligible for Medicare and then to learn that it doesn’t make you eligible for much.
- Medicaid is misnamed; it should be called ‘Medi-anguish.”
- Insurance works best for all when it is funded community-wide an collectively. It is not designed to let those that become wealthy off of the rest of us opt out as they now can afford their own private policy.
Takes on ‘What to Do’?
· What to do when your favorite tee shirt is now too small?
· What do you do when you want to be a good citizen and vote but you think there are not any good candidates?
· If one cat is one cat too much and a bother, would two cats help that?
· What do you do if your parents are visiting you and your Mom wants to go out and your Dad wants to stay at your house (Bet your Mom wins.)?
· What do you do to answer the question your Dad always used to ask you which was: Ïf a man has a dollar and buys a pair of pants with fifty cents of it, what happened to the other fifty cents?” In addition to the tough question, your dad is now deceased and he never told you the answer.
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Takes on Small Towns
· Small towns are great for all. Where else would you see two jailed inmates in their bright orange jump suits standing outside the jail all by themselves with guards in sight smoking a cigarette? They seemed responsible, I guess, because one of them said to the other after looking at his watch (note that he had a watch?), “It’s time to go in.” and they did!
· Progress in the country is sometimes puzzling as where there used to be rolling hills and green fields, there is now a Wallmart.
Takes on Legal Issues in the 21st Century
· In today’s world, in legal matters as well as other types of issues, a person with a little knowledge can be dangerous. Since there are a lot of people in this world with just a little knowledge, there is the potential of having a lot of dangerous people. What is best is to have a lot of information about subjects that matter or know someone who does and pick their brain.
· In today’s world one needs legal documents to guard and protect you and the one’s you love. For example a written Power of Attorney and a written Medical Directive are good documents to have. A will is only good when you are dead.
· Are you aware that the terms ‘liberal’ and ‘conservative’ actually mean almost the same thing? Go ahead, Google each.
Takes on Online College Education Courses· If the new online college courses endorsed by many politicians do nothing more than reduce the cost of earning a degree, they will become a computer-based diploma mill. We already have enough of those to meet our needs; the focus now correctly is on being educated rather than trained.
· Information in online courses is merely information from online courses unless a teacher engages the student who accesses the information in processing, using and analyzing it.
· Life is not the same as passing competency based courses as one in life can learn both from one’s successes as well as one’s non-successes.
· Online college education courses do not make up a curriculum all by themselves. Therefore examine and endorse more than just a listing of the courses.
· Competency based courses are a good way to start an education but are not the finish line. Measuring competencies is measuring the building blocks acquired but not the comprehension of the place of the blocks in the world, the skills necessary to build on them, nor the ability to think about the big picture in order to do ‘praising and critiquing’.
· One would expect members of the information generation to want to take their college courses online. However, a good college education, no matter the subject area, is more than accessing information online. A good college education, no matter the subject area, involves the student processing the information, using it skillfully, and being able to critique and appraise real life events in order to improve on the quality of life.
· Learning a lesson from life from Aesop’s Fables will result when the following steps are added to what was reported. What was reported was that a group of very intelligent wise but blind people gathered around an elephant and from their perspective described what an elephant was. The additional steps necessary for us to learn is the same for the wise, blind people. First, compare views looking for commonalities, and then summarize and analyze the commonalities and analyzed. Then return it all to the practical approach of making decisions about what best to do with the elephant who shows up on your journey and blocks the way.
· Online education courses will likely be simply another online source of information unless they are written like a good novel. A good novel is much more than words on a page. A good novel uses words to describe main characters and a plot that is brought together in a way that engages the reader actively to the point where they can’t put the book down, and challenges the reader to figure things out.
· For anyone to benefit from information, one must do something with it in an active and learning way, rather than simply access it, which may not even be the equivalent of memorization, the most elementary form of information processing.
· I often had this experience as a college professor during my 38 years in that role. While lecturing via my one-way monologue, I would observe my own reaction to the process I was leading. If I found myself bored, I said to myself, “If I am bored, what must the students be?” I then stopped the monologue and did something else.
Takes on Life from the Game of Golf· In the game of life, some people keep score only by the number of errors they think the other side made. That is a very unusual way to keep score because it isn't done that way anywhere else.
· Here is a quick ‘God and Golf joke’. Do you know what to do if you get caught up in a storm while on the course and it is lightening? Hold up a 2 iron because not even God can hit a 2 iron.
· Have a great round today, whether it be golf or life.
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Takes on Religion and Spirituality
· Are you aware that mainline Christianity has four different creation stories?
Are you aware that the mustard seed ends up in four different types of ground, depending on the Gospal you read?
· All you aware that all mainline religions have a Supreme Being and a Bible?
· Do you know the difference between ‘Religion’ and ‘Spirituality especially when all non-religious people have a spiritual domain?
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· Does the road to Heaven go through Hell or vice-versa?
· If you end up being judged to Hell for life, can you eventually get to Heaven and its eternity stance?
Takes on ‘Cause and Effect’
· I watered my lawn for the first time all summer last night. Today it is raining for the first time in a long time. Conclusion: I should have watered much earlier in the summer?
· In those countries where NFL football is played, we have the coldest winters. In those countries where Canadian pro football is played, the seasons start earlier than is the US norm, there are more people on the field as players at any one time, the winters are very cold, more so than in the US. In those countries where NFL football is not played, the winters tend to be much warmer. The coldest day of the year in the US is typically Super Bowl Sunday. In those years when the NFL football schedule has been shortened due to a player strike, winter was shorter that year as well. In the year that there was not NFL season, we had one of the mildest winters on record.
Conclusion: pro football causes cold weather? (An furthermore, they want to add more games to the schedule in the near future?).
Takes on Guns and Violence
· We have prayed for a lot of victims of gun violence and their families over the past few years, when are we going to add doing something about it?
· When guns are readily available to all, they will be readily used and often in bad ways.
· It is easier for a person with bad intentions to obtain an arsenal of guns than it is for a person educated in gun usage to unlock a gun vault and shoot one in a sporting way.
· I am becoming paranoid about those who are paranoid about someone attacking them to the point of enabling people to become attackers.
· I think that GOD is very busy answering prayers for the victims and families of gun violence, so busy that if it continues he will up the second coming of Jesus. Perhaps Jesus then will upset the tables of the NRA who are enabling all this violence against we Americans.
· It is getting to the point where citizens of other countries no longer see the United States as a Christian Nation following Christian principles and beliefs but as a Violent Nation, following Violent principles and beliefs.
· I am very sorry to report that by many standards, the United States has become the most violent society in the history of the world.
· Explain to me one more time how an assault weapon is used for anything but assault?
· I once enjoyed shooting skeet’s, trap shooting and target shooting as a Boy Scout and actually was getting pretty good at it. As an Adult, I have found that they no longer make my favorite sporting rifle nor shotgun as they are too busy making assault weapons.
· But I don’t want to assault anyone, I just want to enjoy sporting uses with guns.
· Would John Wayne have an assault weapon?
· It sounds like this shooter in Aurora, Colorado was out to kill people. I wonder if the ticket taker or usher at the movie theatre asked him to check his guns at the door, just like we used to do in the Wild West with Salon’s where we didn’t want people to enter with guns? Wonder what they knew that we don’t now? Or then again, perhaps it was our’ right to kill people with my guns values’, not movie theatre protocol?
· One hundred years from now, those left in the world will wonder how dumb we were about the use of traditional weapons to solve problems. Just watch any rerun of ‘Star Treck’ to see all about this.
· If all twelve people killed in the movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado had been armed, would they have been able to save those in the theatre, including themselves from being murdered?
· If all twelve people killed in the movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado had been armed, how many more people would have been killed from the crossfire, among other shots?
· If all the people in the movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado had been armed, how many people would have been killed or how many people would have been saved? Depends on how you count or twist things.
· If all the people in the movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado had been armed with assault weapons which fire a lot of bullets quickly and somewhat randomly, would they have been able to kill the shooter, while killing a lot of other theatre goers as well?
· If all the movie goers in the theatre in Aurora, Colorado had been armed with hand guns, how would they have faired in a gun battle with the shooter who had assault weapons?
· If all the movie goers in the theatre in Aurora, Colorado had been armed with hand guns, how many would have up-to-date permits indicating that they had been updated in their training on gun usage, and thus able to legally shoot the killer-tobe?
· Why didn’t the armed policeman on Virginia Tech’s campus shot the man who killed him in cold blood? I guess he didn’t see it coming?
· If all the student’s and teachers on Virginia Tech’s campus were armed, would it have been a standoff or shoot-off with the one student who surprised everyone with his arsenal and intent to kill as many people possible? Depends on how you count or twist things.
· All the people killed in the movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado do not have an opinion or vote on “people kill people, not guns” because they are no longer voting.
· Are you willing to offer your vote on the statement “people kill other people, not guns?
· Perhaps the NRA, with its many human members, would change its stance so that it values the right of humans to be over the right of guns to be?
· Yes, I am angry about the killings in Aurora, Colorado but I don’t have a gun in the house to go shoot someone whom I am angry. I do have three computers so I can write about my anger. Wonder which is better for me and others?
· I don’t believe this either but I am inviting a long-time NRA member to my house for dinner. It turns out he supports the basic purpose of the NRA that is related to promoting gun licensure for sporting usage with guns. He knows that like many organizations, his has had the extremists take over. We actually agree on most things about gun violence. It just goes to show you that even in bad organizations, there are good people.